Ladies, I put up a shelf today because the curio cabinet for Aeryn's things which my parents had had ordered back at the end of April won't even be manufactured until sometime in the middle of next month, they had problems with the glass or something. So my husband had finished a nice little shelf for now.

Aeryn's plaster cast fell. While I was putting the things up there I could see something falling off in my head, I really could, but I kept telling myself not to be stupid, I was just being over fearful, shut up and put the stuff on the shelf.

So while I was in the kitchen getting supper my husband came home from work, and took the boy to get the mail. The little cast of Aeryn's face fell and broke into 3 pieces. Now, where it broke, it really won't be too bad once it's repaired, luckily it broke just above the forehead and below the neck so it won't be too bad. But I am really upset.

Does anyone know which glue will be best to hold it together?

Ok, wood glue. We'll have to paint it, we were supposed to seal it once it had dried out all the way anyway, I remember that specifically in the instructions my mom passed on to me.

The thing was, we had ordered a cabinet way back at the end of April so that we could have a place for her things and her urn until the paperwork for creating a family cemetery out at my parent's home goes through. (Which I'm wondering if the paperwork's even been filled out or anything, they had talked about blocking one off after the miscarriage and putting in a garden for that baby, it's been almost 3 years since then and nothing.) The cabinet thing was backordered or something, so I had things stacked in and on my china hutch which just feels wrong but it was the safest place. I put up a shelf, the shelf didn't fall, just the little plaque. I guess the floor vibrated that wall when my husband went walking by or something and it unbalanced.

It just is one of those things that throws guilt on top of guilt, especially because while I was putting things up there I was trying to convince myself that I was making a safe place for her things where I could see them. I can't even take care of a plaster cast. I was just trying to put things in some kind of normal order, have a place that was just for her things, not cohabiting with glasses and our wedding whiskey.

Everything's back in the china hutch for right now, though.

I've painted both plaques now, just kind of a pale bisque, and my brother was right, you really don't see the cracks now. But I still feel horrible about putting them up on the shelf in the first place. I keep telling myself they are just things, you cannot be attached to things, but it's really difficult.