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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Introducing Solids

Aeryn would have been 16 weeks old this week, apparently. I guess I didn't quite get my name off all the mailing lists, because "It's time to consider introducing solids!"

And I blew up at my mother-in-law (who I also work for) both over the wacky crap that's work related and the fact she thinks her son's behaviour is reasonable and that I'm the unreasonable one here expecting there to be some kind of attempt at co-parenting.

Plus my mother having some kind of fight, supposedly final but I heard that during my wedding too, with her parents. So she's more upset than normal.

And for the piece de resistance, my brother leaves for his all expenses paid vacation to Iraq, courtesy of the US Army National Guard, on Friday.

So great day all around. At least it's five now, time to feed the twilight toddler and try and wind things down.

Seriously, if I manage to get through the next six months, I will hunt down Dr, Sears or Heidi Murkoff like a crazed stalker and try and force someone to write a "Practical Advice for Parenting Your Living Children after Perinatal Loss, For Those Who Are Not Independently Wealthy." Probably my first thing would be "Buy UHT milk (or powdered milk and mix only what you need) for a bit if you can so it doesn't go bad without you noticing. You'll be fuzzy on dates and times for quite a while."

I've got a 2 year old, so he drinks ridiculous amounts of milk. I just noticed that what we have in the fridge is 3 days out of date. I gave him some this morning and he asked for juice instead. Now I know why.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

I just saw this now Katherine, and what occurred to me first is, "does katherine have a blog?" only because I feel like an experience like this needs to be chronicled. I'm going to follow your profile link now to check, but just wanted to respond here to say sorry for not responding (eyes-crossing) but something like this reads more like a blog post than a particular question - which is totally, totally okay - but now I'm wondering if you've got a safe, perhaps anonymous outlet... off now to check...

August 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkate
I have a quasi-blog, but it's a myspace thing, and a lot of my family and friends are now in the "So, you're over it now, right?" phase and assume I need Prozac if I even mention that I should have more than one child right now.
August 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine
...all the more reason to have your own space, don't you think? :) And NOT a myspace-space, but something at Blogger or Typepad or some platform designed for primarily for writing, and under the radar in terms of people (family, friends) you know in real-life.

I'd give just about anything for the chance to start fresh, and to have anonymity. Why not consider it, eh? Your first post could be about the 'so you're over it now' crew. Make sure you let us know if you do it, okay?
August 13, 2008 | Registered Commenterglow in the woods