hello. I just wanted to intro while I read what you all have written.

Micah Zachary was still born at home during a planned unassisted birth on April 12, 2008. He was due on April 13th. He was 10 pounds 10 ounces. He was perfect. He had strawberry curly hair. I so wish he would have stayed with us for one of the many reasons so I can see how his hair turns out :) We transported to the hospital where the drs said he had been gone for a few days. I did not know this. I can explain that more later if desired. Or I may just copy/paste in his birth story :)

Micah was #5. DS age 12 was my photographer. DS age 5 was there too to witness. DD age 3 woke up when ambulance came. DD age 9 was at a friends' house.

It's been a tough few days. I can't wait to read about all of you.

My son, Duncan, was born at 30 weeks gestation on May 23rd, 2008. He died about an hour and a half later. We had planned on being attended by a direct entry midwife, and consistent with those plans and our belief, had declined the 20 week ultrasound. Had we had the ultrasound, we would have identified the lethal abnormalities that lead to his early death.

I do not mean to take away from your grief with my story, but I am relieved to find another mother who also made an unconventional choice for care among those who have lost children.

I find solace that all decisions and choices that could be made, we made ourselves, and those choices that were not ours to make, were made for us. But even still, although I know that my son's death was not the price of our hubris, that he would never have lived past 30 weeks, sometimes, it still feels that way.