Hi!

My name is Mandy and I am 31 years old. On May 21st we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. I prepared my body for this since last December. Everything seemed fine and we even listened to the heartbeat during week 6. On week 8 there was no longer heartbeat. I felt like I was dying and nothing could stop the pain. My husband is supportive but we cope with loss in different ways. I feel like doing nothing. I don’t want to get up from bed, I don’t want to shower, I don’t want to eat. He can go out and play sports and get his mind to a different zone. I can’t do that. I feel like I am never going to recover from this and all I want is to have my family.

Before my miscarriage I found out a very dear friend is also pregnant. We were very excited to be on this together. But later I had my lost and now I feel like I don’t even want to talk to her because I feel so angry??? That it didn’t work for me as I wanted. I had to log out of social media too because I can stand pregnancy announcements. I read online that is a normal thing to feel sad and anger but I really want it to stop because I feel I would never recover from this.

You're not alone. I felt I needed to say that. The anger, the sadness; it's all valid. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I don’t know that we ever truly recover; we simply learn to breathe again. Sending you so much love and light.

I lost some friends after my loss. Not even because they were so painfully pregnant like your friend (although 5 others were pregnant at my work at the same time as me and all fine), I lost a couple of good friends just through the simple fear that they may become pregnant. That's how bad it was for me. Your feelings are utterly valid and you aren't alone.