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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.
Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.
My name is Mandy and I am 31 years old. On May 21st we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. I prepared my body for this since last December. Everything seemed fine and we even listened to the heartbeat during week 6. On week 8 there was no longer heartbeat. I felt like I was dying and nothing could stop the pain. My husband is supportive but we cope with loss in different ways. I feel like doing nothing. I don’t want to get up from bed, I don’t want to shower, I don’t want to eat. He can go out and play sports and get his mind to a different zone. I can’t do that. I feel like I am never going to recover from this and all I want is to have my family.
Before my miscarriage I found out a very dear friend is also pregnant. We were very excited to be on this together. But later I had my lost and now I feel like I don’t even want to talk to her because I feel so angry??? That it didn’t work for me as I wanted. I had to log out of social media too because I can stand pregnancy announcements. I read online that is a normal thing to feel sad and anger but I really want it to stop because I feel I would never recover from this.