Hi, Where do I even begin. We started trying to conceive of January of this year, I got pregnant first cycle. I was over the moon, what more could I have asked for. This was the start of journey towards having a child, we've been together 10 years. Everything was going fine, started having pregnancy symptoms, but something in the back of mind kept saying, "Don't get too excited, miscarriages can happen". Well it happened at around 6 weeks, we were devastated. I cried like had never cried before, but I remained hopeful. It took us a few months to try again due to other circumstance, but when we did, we got pregnant first cycle of trying again. I couldn't even let myself be happy, what if it happens again. I was slightly hopefully thinking the odds are with us this time...there is no way I can have back to back miscarriages, but it happened. It happened around 6 weeks again. We did all the bloodwork for RPL, and everything came back normal. It sucked having to go back to the obgyn for bloodwork because I had to sit in a waiting room full of heavily pregnant people. I even heard a soon to be father that the next appointment would conflict with his meeting that had already been scheduled. That was a slap to the face. Here I am grieving and he is upset about a stupid meeting. You are having something I've been wanting since I was a little girl. Anyway, two miscarriages in the span of four months. The worst part is the day I found out about the second miscarriage I was told my step sister who is the same age as me was pregnant, I came to find out several months later our due dates were only four days apart. It's brutal and I am so angry. The mere mention of her name send me overboard. Luckily we don't live in the same state, but it doesn't hurt any less. She gets to have her accidental pregnancy, while I lost the two I was trying for. I think I just need to let this all out on here because I'm having a difficult time in this grieving process. I feel like I'm just angry all the time lately and I don't want to lose sight of all the things I have. I'm grateful for my family and the life I have. My husband has been my rock through all of this and there is nothing I can do to repay him.

I also experienced two miscarriages both at about 6 weeks. I have realized I have triggers when I hear about others pregnancy as well. Two of my best friends just told me they are pregnant this week and I have found myself struggling with my anger and grief. Its hurtful to watch others get so easily what we yearn for. I came to this website today because I also needed to let out my feelings and for someone to hear my voice that doesn't know me. And ironically you had posted today too, kind of feels like fate. Because Its a relief to know I'm not crazy for the way I feel. I can relate so much to everything you were saying. Sometimes I tell myself I don't have a right to be struggling so much because I was only 6 weeks, but I picture them as angels all the time. Your post made a world of difference for me today. I do have a right to be struggling,