Yesterday I met my colleague who is first time pregnant. I tried to tell her to get extra ultrasound examination I’m not sure if she got the point. It’s such a dangerous and frightening time, pregnancy, or maybe that’s just me. Since yesterday I am completely out of order, I am back on the day I gave birth to my stillborn baby girl, back in the hospital, the shock the pain the wrenching sadness and I can’t stop crying. Thank you Devorah and Erin, you put everything in to words and I feel a little less lonely. It’s been more than four years more like 4 minutes. Why her why us it’s so hard to take.

Jana, I hear you. It's so hard. My friend is pregnant (twins) and she had pains and I still am so hung up on it. She did go to the hospital, but I'm so nervous for her. And also jealous. It's a hard space. Sending love and hugs Jana