Thinking about your birthday-
Wake me up when May ends. I keep thinking about your up coming birthday and 4 days later when you died. I don't know what to do on your birthday. I want to do something. But I don't know what. All I really want is you. I want to make a cake for you, your first cake. It would've been a "healthy" one, with fruit for the sugar, and cream cheese on top. And I would've made a birthday crown for you. But I can't do that now, I can't even imagine doing these things without you.
Right now what I miss about you the most is that I don't know what you'd be like now. Would you sleep well? What would you be eating? Would you be standing? Walking? Sitting? I miss that so much. I love you my Miriam. I miss you.

And today is your birthday-
Instead of cake, I went to buy paint to paint rocks for your grave.
If only you were here. If only I can watch you eat your first cake. If only I can send you cake, in a portal. If only I can watch you grow. If only I can have you here with me. If only I can know how you're doing. If only I knew you know I love you so much. If only... If only you were here. I love you.

If only. Yes, if only.
I know these feelings so well. And it's been 7.5 years for us.
I'm so sorry, Devorah. Thinking of you and Miriam today.
Much love to you

Sending so much love to you my friend. Happy birthday sweet Miriam. You will be loved and cherished always.

Thank you Gabi and Meg

I wish I didn’t but I know exactly how you feel. I lost my sweet Dacy shortly after birth 6 years, 6 months and 7 days ago. It feels like yesterday.
Sorry doesn’t cut it and hearing “I’m sorry” gets so old but I’m truly sorry, Devorah. Happy Birthday sweet Miriam girl. I hope you read the poem I posted prior to this one. I was googling “when to harvest broccolini” lol and as soon as I typed just the word “when”, the first thing it prompted was “when a child dies poem” so I felt it was meant for me read and wanted to share. Erin

Thank you Erin, thinking of Dacy too

I'm pretty late replying to this, but I just wanted to reach out. I'm having a particularly hard day and this post is spot on how I am feeling. My daughter would have been 18 months on the 11th. I miss who she'd be. All of those same questions constantly swirl in my head. Would she be talking? Would she be cautious or wild? Independent or clinging to my side? So many questions I'll never have the answers to. I think that's a large part of what doesn't get easier over time, but harder instead. Each day, each month, each year brings both new and more of those same questions. Sending you a lot of love as we both navigate these rough waters. And wishing sweet Miriam a happy (belated) birthday ♡

Kae, Thank you. It really does seem like it gets harder. What's your daughters name? love to you

Thank you, Devorah. Her name is Landry Rose ♡

I'm thinking of you and Landry Rose. What a beautiful name