no one talks about miscarriage. how strange and weird it is to say "I lost my baby" because at almost 7 weeks, it didn't quite feel like you were carrying a baby yet. I never got to make a drs appointment. I never even knew if it was a boy or girl. no one talks about how long you'll bleed before it happens. or that you'll go into a sort of labor and that the whole time you'll be thinking "please stay with me" and "if you need to go, it's okay to go". and that something like the act of blowing your nose from crying can make it all slip out of you. and that the blood that comes from you after will smell of death and sadness.

no one talks about how it feels to tell someone what happened. to feel like they're grieving more than you because it hasn't fully hit you yet. they don't talk about the emptiness. and the horrible guilty relief from all that physical pain you feel. or that you'll feel suspended above time as everyone excuses you from work and/or school and so now you don't know what to do besides lay in bed in the dark and think about when you were pregnant and cry and think about the things you wanted and cry. they don't tell you that you may not cry much about it or that maybe your partner will cry more than you will.
they don't talk about what you'll feel right after it happens. the immediate "I'm not in pain anymore, thank God" followed by the guilt.

I was pregnant. my body was supposed to be a safe haven for the little one growing inside me. but it was not deemed so, and that little one is no longer with me.

and now everyone will try to bubble wrap me, pretend like babies don't exist. they'll try to take away any reminder that I was pregnant. and that somehow makes it worse.

Feels like you can't talk about it but you're always thinking about it. It hurts and is exhausting. Just a suggestion to do something to morn.