I'm sad. I just thought I'd say it. I'm trying to make everyone believe I'm ok, really. But some days are too much, and too hard to pretend. For no reason really, they just are.

My heart hurts. I miss my baby so much. Every turn, someone is pregnant, or they just had a child, and me? I've had 3 losses, each hurt in their own way, but Luke, my beautiful boy, I had him, in my arms and then he was taken away.

I'm sad, there is no other word that really expresses it. I am truly sad.

Dear Luke's mom,
I'm so sorry, I hear you. It's really hard to see everyone around you having babies when you don't have your baby Luke. You really don't need to pretend that you're always ok, but then that's also hard to do, how do we communicate that we're sad and get a good response? Sending a hug, and thinking of Luke.

Deborah, thank you. That's just it isn't it? How do you say "I'm sad" all the time? I realize no one wants to hear it anymore. People get awkward or try to subtlety change the topic. So I just don't say anything anymore. When asked how I am, the response is always "fine thank you, how are you?". Anything more seems like the worst form of denial. I feel as if I'm disappearing if I don't say it allowed how utterly sad I really am.

That feeling that we "should be better" seems like it's coming from a place where we are trying to make others feel better. I literally cringe every time someone changes the topic away from my daughter or just pretends it didn't happen. It makes me so mad. I think that's what makes this community so special. We understand what it feels like to walk around with a constant ache in our hearts. It's okay to be sad. I'm sad. Every single day and suspect I always will be. We see you and we are holding Luke in our hearts with you. Sending love and light. Meg

My heart hurts for you. I feel the same way. It's been almost 3 years since my baby passed away, also shortly after birth, and I'm still so sad. Nobody asks about him or how we are coping anymore - apparently grief has a deadline I'm not aware of. Honestly I don't think anyone has asked in almost 2.5 years. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the world I will often tell people I'm sad about my son, even if they don't ask. I know it can make others uncomfortable and people get sick of hearing it, but my son is gone, and I think they can handle a little discomfort for the 30 seconds it takes for them to remember he existed and acknowledge he is gone. Our babies deserve to be remembered; they shouldn't exist only in our hearts.

Today is also one of those really hard days for me. I also get so sad when people get pregnant, especially with boys. I am expecting a nephew soon, and I think it might break me. I know the world can't stop having boys (that would be problematic), but I wish they would stop having boys around me. Sending you love and hoping today you are having a better day.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand pretending and I understand the struggles of MC. This was my second miscarriage. I was 14 weeks and was just starting to become excited - just starting to trust. But then I lost my baby on Jan 21 - preterm labor. Delivering my baby will always be something I remember. I am scared for when I am able to TTC again. What if it happens again? I feel empty.