Last year we went to a hotel for the holidays and the hotel left for us a bottle of champagne. Being pregnant I suggested to open it up in the delivery room. We had put it away. and at 8.5 months we lost our baby Miriam. I really want to smash that bottle!!
What do you think about that? I want to see it smashing into pieces (and not in a glass dispenser). On the other hand- It is littering, and dangerous. What would you do?

Dear Devorah, you should absolutely smash that bottle! We lost our Roxie at 38 weeks, 12 years ago. About a week after her stillbirth, I - in a crazed daze - attended my neighbour's daughter's 3rd birthday party. I have no idea why I thought I needed to pretend I was coping, politely making smalltalk and smiling at other people's kids. Half way through I came to my senses, returned home, and smashed all the plates that were drying by the sink. I just grabbed them one by one and threw them on the tiled kitchen floor. And then wept for hours. It turned out to be just one of several cathartic moments in the days, weeks, months that followed. Roxie's death shattered so much within me, and I can only imagine you feel the same about Miriam. It is absolutely OK to let the universe and everyone around you know that you are raging with hurt. Smash the bottle. Let someone else deal with picking up the pieces whilst you - very slowly, very carefully - mend your broken heart.

Whatever you feel like!
You could also save the bottle for Miriams' 1st birthday.
But if you feel the urge to smash that bottle, I think G is absolutely right.

G!
Reading about Roxie and your story made me cry, I'm so sorry for your loss, and thank you for the encouragement. I really feel that my world smashed into pieces and that bottle really resembles that.

And L too, thank you for the birthday idea. I didn't even think in that direction. What do you do on the birthday? What's your story?

I say do whatever feels right to you!!! Hugs my friend. xx.

Thank you Meg xo

My daughter was stillborn 10 days past her due date because of placental abruption.
I do have living children and I found it very powerful to do for her birthday just the things that we do in our family for the kids' birthdays.
There was cake and flowers and a garland and I had some small but very special gifts for the livng four of us because we all made it through this shitty year.
But I remember returning from the hospital without her - I wanted to set everything on fire. All the things we prepared for her that never once were used.
So I feel you with the urge to destroy this bottle ...