It’s been 14 weeks since our daughter died in the womb just before 28 weeks. I had been waiting out the weeks after she died: everyone said that the feelings get easier to manage over time, that the grief starts to come in waves. I had arbitrarily set three months as the time when I might start feeling a bit better. Instead, things crashed down on me two weeks ago and I now cry almost all of the time, every day. I feel nauseous most of the time. I used to be able to go for walks: now I retch as I walk. I miss her so much that it’s physically painful.

Oh Al, I am so sorry. My girl, who died at 28 weeks too (or likely a little before—she stopped growing at 24 weeks) would be 7 this year. And it does get gentler and easier. Those first few months are a blur…anyway, all those years ago, something I read here helped me keep going: be patient, gentle, and kind to yourself and ask those around you to be the same. Sitting with you in sadness.

Al my dear, I’m really sorry for your loss.
Let the words of AB sink in. Be patient, kind and gentle to yourself, you deserve that. I’ve should have been following them myself, but didn’t for a long time. It took me years.
The first months, even the first year is so hard, there are so many first times.
As AB’s little girl, my girl also came silently 7 years ago. It still hurts, and the sorrow is still there, yet the pride and love for my little grows for my girl who thought me so much by not being given the gift of life outside the womb.
Be gentle to yourself Al, take time, grief has no timeline. I