My beautiful daughter died in August last year. Although expected, it was still devastating. My husband and I were doing well, but in December last year he started to distance himself. It became full blown emotional abuse (therapists words) and progressively got worse. He said he no longer loves me and doesn’t want this life anymore. He moved out, lives with his mum, and goes out drinking every weekend. He completely ignores me and our daughters existence. Found out two weeks ago that he has been emotionally cheating since January, and kissed his coworker two weeks ago. He has lost everyone now. All our friends detest him and he is now making bad choices at work, which have stopped any progress he could have made. He’s now talking about leaving the state and restarting elsewhere.
Has anyone experienced someone who grieves this way? He completely ignores the problem and acts like our daughter doesn’t exist. Refuses to have photos of her or even go visit her grave (he used to go every week).
I’m absolutely destroyed by his behaviour and am now grieving my daughter and my marriage. I still love him but am so hurt by how cold and cruel he has becom.

Dear PM,
I am sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl and for your husband's ineptitude at grieving. I think some people try to drown out the sorrow, busy themselves in various ways, try to forget. I really don't think any of that works very well; anyway, it can't be healthy. I feel that our society doesn't really offer a lot of opportunities for people to grieve in healthy ways either. We're expected to keep a positive attitude all of the time and report to work as though nothing has happened. It's tough. Anyway, I am sorry that you are having to deal with loss after loss. None of this is your fault. I have often been frustrated over the years how nobody seems to want to hear about my son -- I guess the subject of a baby who has died, for a lot of people, it's too sad, they don't want to "go there." He is still my son and a part of my family and now, seven years later, I am still somewhat fighting for his place.