I lost my baby. 6 months ago. My baby Kayden. It's hard to stay strong, to keep moving.

There are days when I felt like I'm doing okay. Then there are days like these when I'm not.

It's hard to see my godson growing because all I could think about is Kayden should be just as big as him noe. He would have been chunky just like him. He would have been smiling just like him. Would he looked like his dad or me? What color his eyes would been.

It's hard to go to work when it's the same place I had given birth to him. It sucks when coworkers who knew I was pregnant would ask how's the baby and I have to say my baby died.

It sucks that mother's day is around the corner yet I don't feel like a mom. I can't celebrate like other mom's. It's a sad reminder that I lost my baby 6 months ago.

Heck my birthday will never be the same since I lost Kayden the day before my birthday.

It sucks. Nothing can ever make it okay. I just have to ride the pain till it subsides. Wait until it comes back again.

I promised Kayden that I will be okay. I will be...eventually. Today, I'm just having a sucky day.

Hi Kayden's Mom-

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. I'm having a sucky day too. May 12 is our baby's birthday/death day (4 years ago). These weeks leading up to that date are always so hard for me. And Mother's Day. Ugh. I hate Mother's Day now. I don't think I will ever feel any different.

I can't describe how it changes over time, but it does. Push through it right now. Just keep doing what you are doing. Come here, vent, take the good with the bad.

But superbly shitty days still happen for me years later. I think they always will.

I'm so sorry you are here; and I'm thinking of you today.

xoxo

Abby

Dear Kayden's mom,
I'm so sorry for your loss, I too lost my son 6 months ago. The way you speak is how I feel. Getting closer to mother's Day is so hard. Like you said, I don't feel like a mom. The numb days are good days now. I wish we didn't have to be in this situation, I wish we could hold out babies. I send you a virtual hug.

Luke's mom

Kayden's Mom
My boy was born the day before my birthday and died the day after. I also sometimes have a hard time seeing my niece who is the age he would be.
Love to you