I really don’t know how this works so I will just start. My older sister passed away November 7th 2019 from difficulties due to breast cancer. My sister did treatment all year and then we had good news in the beginning of the year that it was in remission she had to get a mastectomy. It wasn’t until October she told me that it came back. She admitted to the hospital and she looked fine I we were both optimistic and wanted this nightmare to be over. I was working and went back to my life . I didn’t visit her for a week but I was calling my mom to check on her because my sister wasn’t answering her phone I thought she was just mad or something. So a week later my mom called and said that the doctor said we need to go to the hospital mind you this whole time I thought everything was okay on what my my was telling me. I got the hospital and broke completely down she was not what I thought I was expecting my sister or what knew of her back in October my sister was completely skeletal could not speak that’s why she wasn’t answering I could not believe it. Moving forward to a couple of days later the doctor basically told us on November 7th that she would die tonight or tomorrow I didn’t know how right he was going to be until I got that Call at 9pm.
I’m still struggling with the idea of her loss and disbelief I feel like I should have been there everyday. Please help me or share your stories I just want to know how to deal.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have a lot of really solid tips on dealing. I guess reaching out for help is a start. My older brother passed away from diabetic ketoacidosis in 2013. Unfortunately, we had a falling the last year he was alive and didn't talk much. He called to tell me that he was getting ready to "transition realities" and I just kept trying to get him to take better care of himself. You will always hurt a little but that's a sign that they were an important and impactful part of your life and that you miss them deeply. I would suggest focusing your energy on remembering all the great things you liked about your sister and maximizing the time you have with everyone else in your life that you love instead of a negative direction. A negative direction for me is beating myself up about what you can't be changed now and drowning in grief and regrets for an extended period. I love my brother and miss him every day but I have to keep living my life for me and my husband and the rest of my family. I have to trust that my brother knew how much I loved him and saw that in my actions at the time. Breast cancer is such a terrible and unpredictable disease. Your sister's story reminds me of my best friend's mom and how she passed. It is very unpredictable how things progress and you have done the very best you could.