As I was sitting here on the couch grieving, coming up on the 4th anniversary of my first daughters passing....i thought of this website. reading how others feel the same way as I do...even though time has passed each year is still so hard. Each anniversary. And those moments that just catch you off guard in daily life. Sorrel. On sunday, four years ago, I woke to you gone in your bed. You were 15 months old.....I had tried your whole life to keep you safe, finding doctors, medications, not letting you out of my sight ever, watching all of your seizures. The deep sadness in my heart seems to never end, no bottom to this hell hole. I do not understand sometimes how I move and breathe without you. It is your sister, almost 3, that makes me get up each day. Her blue eyes just a shade darker then yours. I miss your body, your weight and your sounds. I miss your creamy skin and pink lips. I miss sitting on the porch swing with you, carrying you down to the rivers edge. Sometimes I don't know how I live or breathe without you, like the goddess never-not-broken I keep shattering and shattering and coming back together again, my love of you.i miss you so. i don't expect the pain to ever cease....

Thank you for the post, Pol. I had not heard of the never-not-broken goddess, Akhilandeshvari, until I read your post and then I googled it and read about her. Thank you for the positive visualization of finding power in our brokenness. I am five and a half years out from my son's death and miss him every day. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Sorrel. Sending love to you-.