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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > 7 weeks ago 24hr labor then c section (stillbirth)

so its been 7 weeks since my son died July 9, 2019. We named him Mav. I was in labor for 24 hrs i didnt dialate well and then doctor decided a C- section for my safety. This is so hard to deal with! Physi ally healing from a c-section is very difficult, and now crying for my son is even worse. I dont know how me and my husband will move forawrd this was our 1st baby im 25 years old Im super healthy and my pregnancy was gealthy as well. When my water broke and we went to the hospital they couldnt find his heartbeat, so this is all so traumatic i had to give birth to my dead son, and suffered 24 hr labor to then have a C-section and the healing process is hard. And now i cry cause i just want to hold him he was so cute he looked just like his dad and thats what made me so happy. I dont know how I am going to move forward i feel like i dont know where to go in life now cause my motivation was my son inside me, now i have no motivation and I'm an artist i sing and i dance and i hate that this c section stops u from being able to move my body cause dancing and yoga is my therapy and i cant do that at the moment. And now i worry about my relationship how are we guna get through this, and the doctor said i have to wait 1 year to try again cause i had a c- section. But me and my husband have ups and downs we cry or argue, i dont know if we can have sexual chemistry again, and im still healing physically but all these things cross my mind. Have any of u had a still birth and done c- section after being in labor for so long? And how are u doing emotionally through the process? And now i stress i just want a little boy. :,( and sometimes i can feel completely normal and then i get triggered And feel like crying... also does anyone know a good couples therapy? Or support groups? Did any of u fomd that couples therapy worked for your relationship? I live in Miami, fl by the way.
August 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJorday
I am so so so sorry to hear your story. I jsut has a stillbirth and lost my sons James full term. I feel the exact way you do. Only I am much older and OFcourse I want to try again too but worry. my husband is grieving so much different than me. you are now 6 weeks out? Does it get any easier?
September 2, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie
Hi carrie, so im 8 weeks post and im doing 1 therapy a week for myself and it works for me. And honestly im oddly feeling better my motivation is just tryimg to focus on eating healthy so i can carry my next baby. And tbe c section is getting better i noticed the swelling go down. And as for my relationship we are lauging more and talking i found that cooking helps us come together. A d my husband cried twice 2 days ago and i just hugged him for an odd reason i didnt cry i was strong enough to be his support at the moment. And i know its hard but i try to jist think of all the positive things i do have. And i have bee nwriting everynight before i go to bed to my son that passed, i tell him what i did that day and how me and his dad are doing and how i love him and i just write how i feel. And i write below that thongs i want to manifest. Its been helping me maybe try this? But it will get better! :) stay strong we got this! Women are the strongest sex on the planet! We got given this obstacle because our spirit is strong enough to go through it! Your baby is always around u, talk to him ask h to help u get strength to go through this. I do that as well. Here from u soon o hope :)
September 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJorday
Dear Jorday and Carrie,

I am here visiting after a while. I lost my son during labour due to a cord accident in May 2018, so a year and a bit later I am doing ok. The early weeks and months I visited here every day. Everyday was a challenge. I can’t predict your course, but I can say time helps, therapy helps, the pain does mellow in a way. I think of August every day, but it shifted for me. I offer only love and support for you both. If you can find a friend or family member to call often that helps, and cry when you need to.

Sending you strength mamas
September 16, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle