I needed to come here this morning. As I drink my morning coffee and prepare for work. A year and a half after that fateful day that changed our lives forever, I need to say it out loud.
My baby died.
I’ve had an immense amount of medical trauma post loss (i’m Currently waiting for a liver transplant after my organs began too fail during pregnancy) and it feels like that has overshadowed my loss. It’s been easy to say that once I get a new liver everything will be ok again. But it won’t. Because I will still be the person who lost a baby. My baby will still be dead.
I have to go to work. Life beckons me to move on, never getting more than a second to remember my seeet boy. As I watch the sun rise I think of him.
Mommy loves you, Paris. I am so proud to be your mama

Remembering your Paris with you Alisha and sending you thoughts of health and love. I hope you get a new liver soon and that you find some peace and maybe a bit more time to remember your precious son too.