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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Anyone else have 1 twin pass and continue to carry the other?

Hi everyone. I am new here and am writing because well for the same reason we all seem to be writing here. On March 29th 2019 we found out that baby A, Elijah, had past. I am still pregnant with his identical twin brother, baby B. Has anyone else experienced a loss like this? I am really struggling knowing Elijah's body is still here, but his soul is gone. The hope is to maintain the rest of the pregnancy to 35 weeks and the goal is 37. (Currently at 26) How does one plan for a birth like this? Knowing one will be born sleeping... not knowing if I will be able to or want to see him (due to deterioration of his body depending on how long the pregnancy continues). How do you keep the sadness from overshadowing the joy? It's so hard not being able to lay him to rest right now, I'm struggling. My heart aches...
April 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristi B
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Christi. I have only had singleton pregnancies, but hopefully someone else here will able to speak to your situation. I will be rooting for Baby B to make it to 37 weeks for you.
April 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJack's mom

I am so sorry to hear that your son has passed. My heart aches for you. I have not had twins, hoping someone here can offer some words of comfort.

I recently read Kate Inglis’s book - notes for the everlost. One of her twin boys (Liam) passed away soon after his birth. There are also some sections about losing a baby in a multiple pregnancy in the book Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah L Davis. I enjoyed both of these books

Thinking of you, during such a heartbreaking time. Sending love.

April 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterR
Christi - I am so so sorry for the loss of your son. I personally have not had an experience with twins but I just wanted to let you know I am here, thinking of you, and sending strength to you. I wanted to second R's suggestion of Kate Inglis's book - I read this book very early on (I am now 12 weeks out from the loss of my son), and while I did not have twins or a situation that was exactly similar to her's it helped me find space and words that connected to the brokenness of my heart.

I am hoping over the next few months you are able to find balance between your sadness and joy for your lost little one and his identical surviving twin. I am sending you love - please don't hesitate to post to Glow as you continue your journey and need support. There is space for you here.
April 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAllison