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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Angel baby's clothes

I lost my son M due to early onset severe preeclampsia 12 weeks ago. He was born premature and his lungs just weren't mature enough.

I still have all his clothes, blankets, diapers etc My mil had suggested I give the stuff to my sister who had a baby around the same time but I said no. I couldnt bear to see her son wearing my son's clothes. Its hard enough seeing her son considering my son would have been the same age and I have to deal with that every time I see him. I've thought of giving the clothes away to charity but I cant part with them. I give away my daughter's clothes all the time...but of course she is here.

What did you do with your angel baby's clothes?
March 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterM's mum
Hi M’s mum,

I’m so sorry for your loss. My son died almost 15 months ago at 11 days old due to a virus that attacked his heart. He had been home with us and had dirty clothes and clothes in the closet ready for him to wear. I still haven’t done anything with his clothes. There are still clothes in the hamper, clothes in the closet, clothes in his dresser. I just ha ent been able to bring myself to do anything with them. I haven’t washed them because they still smell like him. I know some probably think it’s strange, but it’s what has worked for us.

I say do whatever feels ok to you. Don’t feel forced or pressured to give them to anyone or to do anything that you aren’t ready to do. Whatever feels right for you and brings you the least amount of pain is okay to do and it is your decision. I completely relate with you on not wanting to give them to your sister. My sister in law was pregnant the same time as me and our nephew was born soon after our son died. I wouldn’t have been able to beat giving any of his clothes away to him. We did give him one of his stuffed animals and even that was difficult and incredibly emotional. Be gentle with yourself and do what you feel is best for you.
March 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMJ
I have only just parted with some of my daughter's belongings; bouncy chair, some clothes, toys, am selling the push chair. It has taken me 8 months to consider the idea. I have kept (a rather large bag) of clothes I simply could not part with. I also sleep with one of her newborn dresses. Its become my sort of confort blanket. I have reminders of her around the house and I simply could not have it any other way.
Just after she died my mum and I put all of her clothes in big bags and hid them away in a cupboard. I often went in to rummage around and imagine her wearing this or that item. Although it hurt it also helped keep her alive in my mind because the idea of forgetting her kills. Sometimes I even wonder if it was all just a dream.
My sister is expecting a girl and my mum too suggested I sell the push chair to my sister "ummm, definitely not Mum!" I couldnt stand the idea of a baby I'm going to see regularly in the pushchair meant for MY little girl. However I did give her my little girl's nappies, which was hard but I wanted to give her something; nappies, wipes and creams were the most impersonal I could think of.
So I totally understand and sympathise with you. Dont feel pressure to deal with any of his clothes etc. Hold on to them until you know the time is right. It could be something you come to regret so id say to keep them for as long as you need to. Act on whats important to you and not what you think others expect of you.
Sending lots of love, light and courage. Big hugs xx
March 20, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMachaela
Sorry for your loss dear.

You don't have to part with any of you sons belongings that you don't want to part with.

Lots of love and strenght to you
March 23, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterScandinavian endo-girl
If it’s any consolation I still have everything & I lost my daughter in 2014.
March 30, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBond Girl
Just a thought... can you have the clothing made into a quilt or blanket to put in his memory box or just for you to have when your having a sad time?
I'm so sorry for your loss mama. Im sorry she doesnt get that would be hard for you to do (I think it would be hard for anyone to do). Do what is right for you, dont let anyone pressure you to part with things you aren't ready to.
April 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristi B