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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Two rainbow babies still not better

I lost we only daughter in 2013 38 weeks, I've been blessed with two gorgeous rainbow babies since then but still so so broken. I had our third son nine months ago and he looks so much like her. We're done having babies and am going to the conclusion I'll always have this whole in my heart, I'll never experience a daughter, I'll always have flashbacks. I think I have slight PPD at the moment and it's reminding of the post stillbirth depression and it's put me right back at sqaure one. My children are absolutely the loves of my life but i feel like something will always be missing, I miss the person I use to be so so badly some days.
January 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterEE brooks
You will always pine for your daughter, no siblings of hers will ever replace her. I'm sorry for your loss, give yourself permission to talk about her, celebrate her, grieve her in whatever way helps you.
Sending you love,
Tracey
January 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTracey
So i’m not the only one? I have my rainbow. A boy like the son I lost but I’m still not ok.
January 11, 2019 | Unregistered Commenter4mom
Your story is similar to mine. We too lost our only girl in 2013. Two beautiful boys later and we are done. My youngest will be 7 months on Sunday. Yes, I love my boys and wouldn’t give them up, but still can’t shake that I’ve been cheated out of my chance to mother a daughter. At this point I don’t imagine that feeling will ever change. Since we found out our last was a boy I’ve been slowly getting rid of the baby girl items I’d been holding on to. Now it’s progressed to baby items in general. Reality is setting in. I’m glad that period of my life is over and everyday is one closer to new experiences and joys with my boys. But... I miss my forever baby girl. And yes, I too miss the person I used to be.

Sending thoughts out.
January 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMissing Maddie