35 minutes will usher in another New Year. Another Year that will hopefully be good - but another year that will be without her. Another year that cannot be joyous.
It is simply sad now - a lot of the trauma has faded but by no means all - it leaves a basic and background sadness.
I will visit her grave tomorrow, maybe that will help.
Hoping that for us all 2019 will be better - I so wish none of us were here!
Apologies for the sad tone - feeling sorry for myself and for all of us.

I lost my son 28 days ago, he was 4 days old... I wish I could have stopped time last night as I felt like going into a new year is forever leaving my precious baby in 2018 and that he will be forgotten..... obviously not by me or our little family but by the world. He deserved so much more.... I've been glued to this site the past few days. I desperately need people that understand, i find myself angry at anyone that this hasn't happened to and not wanting to speak with anyone around me because they have no idea. This is so hard! I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet girl and all the other beautiful babies who were too perfect for this nasty unfair world we live in.

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.
I also felt that Eleanor would be forgotten by the world and I am sure by most she has been. But I went to her grave today and there was a little bunch of flowers there that was not from me or our family. It is comforting to think that others do remember her and think of her and I hope that as time goes on you will find the same.
Although all our circumstances are slightly different we are all here for the same terrible reason. It is incredibly hard and one month out is very difficult as it is long enough for it to start to sink in and for other people to be getting on with their lives while, for me certainly, it was hard to see the way forward
I hope that 2019 is kind to you and know that we will remember your little boy with you.

I felt like New Years was truly a struggle. I was torn between two thoughts. A part of me felt like I didn't want time to keep going because then I felt like I was leaving my son behind. The other part of me felt like I needed a new year to learn and meet the new version of myself. I realize the old me was buried the day I buried my son. Learning to regain joy again and understanding what's and who is important in my life I think is key.

I have no idea what this new year will hold for any of us, but I'm wishing love, light and hope for every single one of us. You, I, we, us--deserve it. So much love to you mamas.