for one and all > Article about infant loss in Washington Post
Cameron, thank you for sharing. Your piece really resonated with me. Sending much love and peace, mama. I hope you feel a little less lonely, knowing we’re here with you.
November 18, 2017 |
AB
AB
Cameron,
that was a great piece and thank you for both writing it and sharing it here...
I also related to it, having had a similar experience of having my daughter die during birth, @42w, and being told that there are no answers, it just happens, it won't happen again, unexplained, nothing wrong, etc. etc. I drove myself crazy after she died trying to figure out the 'unexplained'. i'll add that while we did eventually find actual reasons why she died, it did not take away any of the frustration or anger or exasperation, or any of the grief... it simply shifted the borders of the tragedy of losing her.
your sentiment “You, alone, got completely screwed over. No one else does.” is just how I felt.
you are brave for sharing this loss with the general public! it is so important for regular people to know about "us". over the years, my impression of regular people, who have not lost a baby or a child, is that they don't want to know about it, also that they can be kind of jerky about it once they know. I ache to share about my babies that died, but I never do because the idea of exposing this part of my life to a bunch of (possible) assholes stops me in my tracks. i'd rather suffer in my little jail of silence than to risk being judged for my own flaws in carrying, or worse, to have people judge my babies for being sub-par in some way.
thank you again for sharing it here!
that was a great piece and thank you for both writing it and sharing it here...
I also related to it, having had a similar experience of having my daughter die during birth, @42w, and being told that there are no answers, it just happens, it won't happen again, unexplained, nothing wrong, etc. etc. I drove myself crazy after she died trying to figure out the 'unexplained'. i'll add that while we did eventually find actual reasons why she died, it did not take away any of the frustration or anger or exasperation, or any of the grief... it simply shifted the borders of the tragedy of losing her.
your sentiment “You, alone, got completely screwed over. No one else does.” is just how I felt.
you are brave for sharing this loss with the general public! it is so important for regular people to know about "us". over the years, my impression of regular people, who have not lost a baby or a child, is that they don't want to know about it, also that they can be kind of jerky about it once they know. I ache to share about my babies that died, but I never do because the idea of exposing this part of my life to a bunch of (possible) assholes stops me in my tracks. i'd rather suffer in my little jail of silence than to risk being judged for my own flaws in carrying, or worse, to have people judge my babies for being sub-par in some way.
thank you again for sharing it here!
November 18, 2017 |
ss
ss
Thank you for sharing, Cameron! It's a beautifully written article and full of truth. Thank you for shedding light on this tragic "loophole of cultural awareness" we find ourselves in. And I am terribly sorry for your loss..
November 19, 2017 |
Mira
Mira
Cameron, thank you for writing. I love your style. I wish you weren't living the life that led you to writing about this topic, but I do feel grateful that you're there to speak up for us.
November 20, 2017 |
Ana
Ana
Thank you for writing this and for sharing. It resonated with me and my experience. I'm at a loss for how to reintegrate with those who haven't suffered such tragedy.
November 20, 2017 |
Mom2htb
Mom2htb
Cameron, this is such a beautiful essay. Thank you for writing it on behalf of all of us who didn't have happy endings. I'm so sorry for your loss and wish this didn't happen to you or any of us.
Ilana
Ilana
November 26, 2017 |
Ilana
Ilana
Thank you for this. Somehow it feels just a little less lonely knowing there are others out there that get it. I can relate so much to what has been written here. Isolated from friends who are busy with their families, hard to meet new people because the dreaded question of "Do you have children?" always comes up. If I lie and say no, I feel like I am dishonoring my daughters memory. If I say yes, but she is an angel now, I find that I end up having to console them because they feel so bad for asking and it turns awkward, I just hate it.
How do you guys answer this question?
How do you guys answer this question?
December 11, 2017 |
Cammie
Cammie
I've written an article that I believe will be relatable to many of you. You can read it here:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2017/11/17/the-loneliness-of-being-the-mom-whose-pregnancy-didnt-have-a-happy-ending/
I am certain that people who haven't experienced such a loss cannot relate or possibly fully understand (as evidenced by my 'favorite' mean comment that I sounded depressing for seeking out solace in others' sad stories, lol...). But I think it's important to shine some light on the fact that there are a lot of grieving mothers and fathers, often silently, while others are blissfully living out their expected parenthood as intended.
Hugs to all,
Cameron