They tell me over and over again not to ask myself the if only questions. However, I can't help but think if only I had stayed with you that night, if only i had gotten up and checked on you when I woke up, if only i had noticed you were looking more pale then usual. If Only I had just listened to my own body screaming at me that something bad was going to happen. No matter how many times I ask if only. It won't bring you back. You had finally turned 16 months on October 27th and on October 28th you were already gone when I checked on you in the morning. I miss you so much Colin. I will love you forever and finally when I get to heaven, you are the first one I want to hug. And never let you go again.

I’m so very sorry for your loss of your precious Colin. Thinking of you and sending love.

I am so sorry. In the beginning the if only, should have thoughts are so painful. I have then less but they do pop up periodically especially when I am coming up on a birthday, holiday, etc. I go back and say if only I hadn't put you in daycare and got a nanny instead. But really I have no idea if that would have changed the outcome. Hugs to you.

When my daughter passed. All I can say were the what if’s. Every day and night I would say, what if i stayed with her, what if I was awake and not sleeping I could have saved her. After 2 years I still go through the what if’s. My daughter would have been two years old. I think about her everyday and wonder what she would have looked like.