search discussions

glow in the woods

front page
the archives
what is this place?
the contributors
comment policy

Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > From the hotel room after she died

I' miss in a hotel room and I just dyed my hair bright red. I bought a boxed dye from the store because my baby just died and what else do you fucking do? We can't go home without her so we're staying in a hotel. The air conditioning unit is loud. My husband is in the living room area of our room because he can't bear to go to bed without her. I am in bed because I can't bear to get up without her. It feels like we are living two parallel lives.
My baby died. Fuck...
August 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterP
I'm so so so sorry. You have to be experiencing immense trauma and shock. When you want to share more, if you want to share more, we are here. The unthinkable happened to you, and I'm so sorry for it.
August 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElaina
I am so sorry of the death of your sweet baby, P. We are here for you with love and support, and we understand.
August 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNada
I'm so sorry for your loss :(
August 5, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterknottedfingers
P...I am so very sorry... your post brought me right back... my baby was fine at home and got sick suddenly one morning, we went out to bring him to the doctor, then hospital, then children's hospital, and he passed away that evening... we could not go back home and face the empty apartment, so we went into a hotel in a shitty neighboring town for 2 nights, then into an airbnb apartment for days... such a massive nightmare. I am so very sorry. There is nothing normal or rational about this.
August 9, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCristiane
P - It is a horror to happen. I had my long hair cut super short after our daughter died - I think it's a way of changing something that you can control.
Please remember that you are not alone.
Thinking of you, your beautiful baby and your husband.
August 9, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKE
I am so sorry for your loss... nobody deserves to go through this terrible experience of losing their presious babies. Sending you lots of love and remember that you're not alone. It helped me a lot going through the dark days of grief.
Take a good care of yourself and dye your hear in all the possible colors if this is what distracts you a bit from this unbearable pain. But please stay gentle with yourself.
August 11, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElise's mom