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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Lost with choicee

It has been a while since i posted but I feel I am at a cross-road that only Glow can understand.

For those that don't know I lost J 12/26/12 and welcomed A 1/22/14
Now in 2017 I broached the subject of having another child with dh and after about a month or two he came back with a "can we afford it? If so why not" up until then I was so sure I wanted another one but now all those anxieties and feears are back and I am not sure that I can follow through. I always said I wanted 2 living children but now that the time is approaching I don't know how to deal with these emotions. Providing that I concieve timely the age gap between A and NB will be the same as it would have been between J and A.
Being diabetic the stress doesn't help with preparations. My doctor is supporting my concieving, which i wasn't sure he would as I am also mid-thirties which adds more risk than just being diabetic.
Feeling lost and anxious
July 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTsukia
I have no advice as we are also struggling with the idea of trying for another living baby. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone and there are so many layers in the baby-loss journey. x
July 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnon
Hi Tsukia, I hear you. M'y DH and I are hesitating as well. After losing our daughter in June 2014, our son was born healthy and screaming in December 2015. He's doing great. We'd always imagined a big family but that pregnancy was high risk (if uneventful), scary of course and were just not sure we can do it...but we'd like for our son to have a living sibling. But I'll be 38 in the fall so if we want to, we don't have that much time...plus I just started a new job. I just don't know...it's hard. Hugs mama.
July 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAB