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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Week 1

Today, one week ago my son Mateo Andrés was born. I was 32 weeks pregnant and about ready to welcome our second boy. Now all I have is a box of little 'memories', a stuffed animal, and a little box from the crematory with his remains.... how is that possible?!?! How is this real?!?! I am deeply sorry we all don't get to hug our little ones like it was supposed to be.
July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterIsabel
Hello Isabel, I understand exactly how you feel. As I to have to look at my sweet baby boy Prince Isaiah remains sitting in his castle on our dresser,. I am so sorry that your baby boy Mateo is no longer here with you. It's been 5 months since our lost, and it's still so very hard as I am expecting it to be. Other moms on here have told me to be easy on myself, so be easy on yourself! I to have a box of memories (hair,comb,clothes,pictures, ultrasound pictures, foot/hand prints) I would of course rather have my baby boy here but I am learning to cherish all of these memories I do have of him. Please take care of yourself. Be blessed
I'm on week 4 of my loss and still feel so much like you. Sometimes I forget I'm not stil pregnant. I am so sorry for your loss and wish I had better answers for you. Just know that you are not alone.
July 5, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersituate
Oh Isabel, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son Mateo. A week is still so very raw and fresh. The shock of what happened is in full force. I'm 5 months out from the loss of my son at 33 weeks. He was born via an emergent c-section. He suffered a loss of oxygen that caused severe brain injury. We withdrew care 3 days later. Those first days and weeks (even the first month) was pure shock and numbness. I really felt I was in a nightmare and at times I felt this was all happening to someone else - that I couldn't have been pregnant, delivered my son, and then had to say goodbye.

Be gentle with yourself. It's said a lot on this forum but it's so true. You are simply existing right now. After about a month I gave myself one task each day - it could simply be get out of bed, shower, brush my teeth. Cry and yell at the world as much as you need to.

5 months out the days are a bit gentle. The rawness has subsided and now it's just a constant awareness of how far life veered of course. Seek people who are supportive and empathetic. I found a support group early on and it's been instrumental for me - being around similar people who just 'get it' is so helpful. About 2 months I found a therapist and see her weekly. Slowly, reintroduced exercises and acupuncture. Right now you don't feel like you will survive but you soon realize that somehow you just do. One day passes and then the next.

Just remember to breathe. You are not alone. Sending lots of strength and hugs your way.
July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenna
Dear Prince Isaiah's Mother, Situate, and Jenna,
Thank you for your comforting words. Today, 3 weeks ago I gave birth to Mateo and the feelings are just as raw as day 1. I know that this grief will be with me for the rest of my life but I hope that some day I can feel more stable and less numb. I am really sorry for your losses. Be well.
July 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterIsabel