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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Still changing the channel and dodging strollers and car seats!!

I'm 5 months out from losing my Handsome sweet baby boy Prince Isaiah, and I still have to change the channel on any diaper commercials or any tv shows that show little babies. Also when ever I'm out in public I avoid all mother's with baby car seats or strollers. Every time I see a baby I almost start crying and have to keep myself together. I dont feeI any joy when I look at other babies, it's not fair that mines is not here!! I'm so broken hearted!!
June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPrince Isaiah's Mother
Prince Isaiah's Mother, I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. You are not alone mama...... it took me years before I could look at a pregnant mother or new baby without feeling a pang of something. Rest assured it will ease in time, but 5 months is still so fresh and the loss is so raw. It's not fair. All our babies should be here. Hang in there xx
June 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShelby's Mum
Oh mama...I'm so sorry. I was like that too. It's just so hard. One thing that helped me a bit was to remind myself that I didn't know what the people on the street, at the store etc, had gone through and that maybe they'd had a loss too. It's okay to be angry and jealous but I found it easier to be out in the world if I imagined I was not alone and maybe that baby was the rainbow for that family (or the surviving sibling or whatever). It's weird to go around assuming that but it's helped me be gentler with myself if that makes sense. Sending you a hug.
June 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAB
Thank you so much Shelby's mom is feels good to know that other moms are or have felt this same way, I know that this will pass but it's always nice to be able to get it out to other moms who understand. So agian thank you.
June 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPrince Isaiah's Mother
Thank you A.B for your kind words and advice. I'm still so early in I'm not at that stage yet, hopefully in the near future I can begin to think like that. But agian thank you for caring.
June 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPrince Isaiah's Mother
This is so normal. I feel exactly the same way as you do. I lost my boy Riyad almost 8 months ago, and I practically sprint past strollers or anything baby-related. I'm not sure when I will be able to handle all of that. If I do eventually have a rainbow baby, I think I will still be avoiding all of these things!

Thinking of you.
July 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNada
This is so normal. I'm just shy of 5 months out and still can't see newborns and even have a difficult time with toddler or school age boys - as I think to myself I'll never get to see Carter grow up. Surprisingly, i still have a really hard time with pregnant women. Seeing a pregnant woman crushes me. I think if avoidance is what we neee to heal then that's okay. Sending lots of hugs your way.
July 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenna