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glow in the woods

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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > still wake up to feed my baby and he's not here

I still wake up to feed my baby and he's been gone nearly 3 months now. Then I lay awake aching because I miss him so much. Night after night...
May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer
Jennifer I am so sorry for the loss of your son. It's heartbreaking that he isn't here. I didn't have the chance to feed my son, Carter, while in the NICU. He was too sick. I can only imagine the time the two of your spent together, in those moments; were so special. A time to connect. The longing we feel to hold our child again is difficult to navigate. My head knows Carter is gone but my heart is a different story.

Wishing you peace on this difficult journey. Sending a lot of hugs your way.
May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenna
Thanks for your response... I feel so alone at night when I wake up and I'm sorry others are suffering too as I am - I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your son Carter. Losing a child is the worst pain imaginable...I still can't believe we lost our Mars...
May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer
Jennifer, night time is tough... or I should say it has been tough for me as well... I had a lot of anxiety with going to sleep and some nights I'd pop in a prescription sleeping pill I had on my bedside just in case... I lost my son in December and most nights I do ok with sleep now, 5 1/2 months later. I sincerely hope you start sleeping a little better soon, as it helps a little bit... so very sorry...
June 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCristiane
Christiane - I am so sorry for your loss. I have stuff to help me sleep and I relied on it at first every night, or else I just could not settle down. I am trying not to take anything anymore as I have been trying (unsuccessfully) to get pregnant...I just cannot stop thinking about my son Mars. Its not like the daytime is any easier for me...hes all I think about.
June 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer