search discussions

glow in the woods

front page
the archives
what is this place?
the contributors
comment policy
contact

Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Too painful

I lost my baby only two months ago, as the days go by im finding it so hard to accept what has happened and the reality that I cant see or hold my baby, im broken. How do you cope?
April 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnon
Hi Anon... you don't cope... you just breathe, eat, shower, and do as little as you can when you are in so much pain. I am 4 1/2 months from losing my son and I have only just begun to have days that I can somewhat function. I am sincerely sorry that this happened to you. The only way out of hell is through. My therapist herself has lost 2 children, and she swears life can eventually somehow suck less. I find it hard to believe but I do trust her. I hope you can find some peace amidst this darkness.
April 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCristiane
Hi Anon,
It is horrific. It is unfair and cruel. We lost our daughter 5 months ago and I have no idea how things get better. I have typed into Google exactly that - how do you cope - but I do know that we can manage. As Cristiane says you just do the basics, try and eat, get outside occasionally and be gentle with yourself. Allow your family and friends to be of practical help if you can.
I have to hope there is a way through for all of us and hopefully some peace.
Please keep contacting on here - we are so sadly not alone.
Sending love
April 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKE
Hi Anon,
I can only echo what Cristiane and KE have said. The unfairness of it all. I literally think and say out loud, "It's not fair" a million times a day. I am approaching the 3 month mark of losing our son, Carter. I've learned and I am still learning there is no right or wrong way to walk this path we are faced with. I'm choosing to be gentle with myself. I'm choosing to lean on people who can sit beside me and feel my grief and pain. I'm choosing to find a way to put one foot in front of the other and honor my sweet boy.
It's not easy and it's a battle to do that everyday. I, too, feel broken. Small steps at a time. Minute by minute... Hoping you can find some lightness in your days.
Sending hugs.
April 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJenna
Anon - I don't know - I wish I did - I am right there with you. We lost our 3 1/2 month son Mars on March 6th. We are completely shattered. Broken beyond repair. Sometimes randomly I just start screaming and crying out of nowhere because my grief comes in waves. I miss my baby Mars so much. People tell me time heals, but I really hate time right now because its taking me farther away from my baby.
May 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer
Thank you for your replies. I am learning to try to keep busy but then feel guilty for not investing time to be sad, I think to myself how can I do anything right now when my baby has died, whats the point? Im so confused am I simply avoiding the situation by keeping busy or should I be taking this time to see my councillor more often. I dont feel ready to go back to work yet but im also at a loss what to do, this was supposed to be my time with my baby. I just feel so lost right now.
May 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnon
I'm sorry that you find yourself here and for the loss of your baby. It's really hard, especially in the early days. It can be excruciatingly painful. I started to write, expressing my thoughts and feelings, I spent a lot of time outside, I lit candles, cried and cried some more. Just allow yourself to remember, to hurt, to feel. It's so important.
May 2, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJo-Anne