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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.

Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.

for one and all > Herpes Simplex Virus

Anyone lost a child due to the herpes virus? We believe that is what happened to our baby and are living a nightmare.
January 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy
Daisy, I am so sorry. It's so hard to try and find answers as to what happened when a baby died.... many of us never get an explanation that makes sense. Some who do get answers are then haunted by that answer... although, really, we're all haunted in one way or another. I should have gone to the hospital sooner than I did, for example. No matter what the doctors tell you, try to be kind to yourselves. It's an impossible thing, especially when your loss is new. But try. Love to you as you try to sort through what happened. xoxo
January 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKate Inglis
I should add that in my years here, I haven't come across this particular complication.... but there are so many particular complications. anyone else?
January 3, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKate Inglis
Daisy, I can't say I know anyone who has had a similar complication, but I am so, so sorry for your loss. Did you meet with your OB about what happened? Did he or she list any other possibilities regarding what could have happened, or confirmed that it was due to the herpes virus? Please keep us posted and don't hesitate to lean on the wonderful women here for support.
January 4, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNada
Thank you ladies. We do not have confirmation as of yet, but it is looking like the most probable cause. It is such a stigmatized condition, yet so common and it could happen to anyone, so that makes it that much more difficult.
January 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy
Mine weren't lost due to Herpes Simplex, but had I not had other complications that necessitated a C-section anyway, I would have had go that route because of Herpes.
March 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPaula