Words are an incredible thing. They can say so much or so little. They can ruin friendships but they can also mend broken hearts. Words are precious, for even when they are not enough they are the only thing we have that comes close to expressing the way we feel. There are times, hell most of the times, when words are not enough, they cannot fully express how deeply you love one person or how you feel that your heart and soul are broken in millions of tiny pieces that you think you will never find again.
Sometimes words need to be heard and there are times when they only need to be spoken.
Words can create a short story or they can create a novel, but even the fewest words can express an entire life of feelings. Ernest Hemingway once set his mind on writing a six words short story that could make people cry … and he did.

His six words are so powerful that they bring tears to my eyes every time I read them:
“For sale:
Baby shoes. Never worn.”

These words speak of pain as we have never felt before. These words tell the tale of the words that we never got to say, or hear.

There's a lifetime of word and things that I never got to tell our daughters and the pain is killing me :(

My name is Andrea and I am the mother of two beautiful angels.
We lost our first child due to a miscarriage in 2014 and after more that a year and a half of heart ache and after struggling with infertility we found out our miracle baby was on the way.
It's been seven weeks since we had to say good-bye to our beautiful baby girl Francesca. She was born sleeping at 25 weeks gestation due to Asherman's syndrome and cord complications. The doctor and midwife refused to show her to me or let me hold her even though I insisted again and again (it is not something they do in our country with premature stillbirths). I went under anesthesia immediately after I gave birth due to placental complication and lost my only chance to hold her. I feel so heart broken and robbed that I was not given the chance to say goodbye or take pictures of my baby girl.

I still remember the first and only words I said to my beautiful daughter the night she was born sleeping… they were “Oh Baby Girl” … and this is all we are left with…
“Baby shoes. Never worn” ... words that were never spoken
And LOVE … lots of LOVE in our hearts!

Andrea, I am so sorry, I am crying for you. How cruel, to not allow you to see Francesca or to have pictures of her for you to cherish. I'm so sorry.

Thank you Evie for your thoughts. It really was cruel for them to not let me hold my daughter but that doesn't not mean I love her less because that or that I don't have a clear image in my head of what she looked like ... she was beautiful.
There are no words to express how painful this is or how heartbroken all of us medusas feel and I really have no idea how i'm going to go through my entire life without my baby girl but I have faith that we are all walking the same road and that I am not alone in this.

Andrea, it absolutely does not mean that you didn't love her any less. And even though you didn't see her for long or have pictures, she is always part of you - always. It's been researched and proven that mothers keep the fetal cells of their babies in their organs, including their hearts, long after the baby is born (they studied the organs of dead women who gave birth a loong time before their death). So Francesca and Dottie are both permanently part of your heart, literally. And when you were growing Francesca, she knew how much you loved her, because that is all she knew.

Andrea - I am so sorry about Francesca's death and your earlier loss. I have seen that Hemingway quote, and indeed it says SO much in 6 words.

I just wanted to say how sad I am that you weren't able to see or spend time with Francesca, and that you don't have photos. I have lost two of my sons - B.W. to stillbirth and Zachary when he was 2 weeks old. When B.W. died in 2006, the hospital assured us we didn't need to bring our camera when I was to be induced for labor. They had a camera and would take photos for us. In our grief-stricken state (we were also first-time parents), we relented and showed up with no camera. They did take photos of B.W. and us, but the disk was corrupted before they were printed or uploaded, so I don't have a single photo of my first born son. It is a layer of my grief that I despise, and always will. I have learned to live with it. I am just so sorry that your situation is even more unforgiveable because they didn't even let you see and hold your sweet girl. I only know a sliver of how you feel. You are absolutely justified in your agony over the loss of precious time and photos with your daughter.

I also wanted to affirm that you will always know and love and grieve your girl, no matter the circumstances. My grandmother - who is now 92 (I think) - is losing so much of her memory. She has been referring to me as her niece for years. And yet, she still will refer to, and talk about, and shed tears for, the son of hers who died years ago at birth. She was never permitted to see or hold him either.

Gretchen - Thank you. Thank you so much for your kind words and for validating my pain and how I feel but most of all thank you so so so sooooooooo much for writing your blog. Your blog was the only thing that I could/wanted to read in the first few days on this grief journey I'm on. I read and reread all your blog posts and I was heartbroken for both my pain and yours, I cried countless hours while reading about everything you went through with Zach and in the end your posts helped me see that I am not in this. I was very sad to read about both your losses, I know how much you loved B.W and how heartbroken you felt when you had to say good-bye to him and I can only imagine how hard it was to go through everything you went through with Zach and still have to say good-bye to him. I'm very very sorry for everything but I want you to know that your words encouraged me (and I'm sure i'm not the only one) to get out of bed in the morning even in my worst days.
It is very true that I will carry Francesca in my heart for as long as I live and my love for her is something that not even death can take away ... reading about your grandmother brought tears to my eyes, i guess I can see myself in her shoes ... I still wonder how I'm suppose to live so many more years without my beautiful girl by my side ...

Evie - I have read the study about the cells and knowing that I will always carry a part of my baby girls with me made me smile. Since they took my heart it is only fair that I get to keep a few of their cells. As far as the love goes, I'm sure Francesca knew how much I love her, she did listen to my beating heart for more than 6 months ... and my heart was and still is full of love for her.

I am just so incredibly sorry, this is so beautifully written, so heartbreaking. I am sorry your babies aren't here. Thank you for sharing those beautiful six words.