Just found out my sister-in-law is pregnant. 2 months along. This will be her second. I can't say anything on my blog, because I know she reads it, but this one hurts. Her first was born one year and three days before Charlotte. I don't think I will ever be able to go to another one of his birthday parties. I've been having such a hard time lately, and just today I thought maybe there was a smudge of sun on the horizon. Now I'm knocked down once more and I just don't know if I'm going to get up this time. I don't know what to do with this hurt so I am going to curl up here for a while and cry.

go ahead and cry, sweetie. it just doesn't seem fair, does it? whenever I think of "the unexpected," I think of bad things -- and this kind of scenario is one of them. although once in a while good news come all unexpected, too. the sun is still there, you know. but no one here will blame you if you hate the long, horrible hours of darkness that stand between you and a soul-sunshine day. the world appears to be so completely out of balance I sometimes think it's a wonder any of us survive at all.

thinking of you, sending loves.

Angela, that just sucks. (and I know how much it sucks because my brother and SIL announced their baby news 3 weeks after Reid died).Cry, yell and scream if you need to, we are here right with you. Lots of love to you.

Hi Angela this is my first comment on Glow in the Woods. What a sucky situation, I am thinking of you. For myself it has now been almost 7 months since my daughter Salome died aged 3 days, of an e coli infection. Not long ago I had the first friend birth a baby since our baby died. They had a girl as well, making it 3 girls for them (like us) and they were at the same hospital with the same OB as we were. It knocked me for six, and like you, I needed to be guarded about what I wrote on my blog because of who might be reading it. Overall I find the family babies the hardest, know what I mean? And I find in the presence of small babies people watch me to see how I'll react. It's like they want my permission to be happy about the healthy baby, whoever the healthy baby is. I find that very tiresome. I am thinking of you and hoping that you find some comfort.... Wishing you some sort of peace from somewhere... Sophia

Angela - so sorry you're having a rough time. Sending love and hugs. Curl up and cry all you want to.

Maddie x

Also sending you hugs, Angela. There's nothing like hearing that someone you're close to is pregnant to knock you back down again. It is always a reminder that someone else will (likely) easily get what was so cruelly taken away from you.

Feel sad. Feel angry. Feel jealous. You are entitled. It is okay to feel these things and, eventually, the feelings will become less intense.

Curling up and crying sounds perfect to me. Family babies are the hardest, because at some point, you have to interact with them, and there is so much emotion from everyone else about the baby. Our grief gets forgotten and our feelings get chalked up to something other than grief. I say just own these emotions right now. How could you not feel knocked down by this? Sending you so much love.

That really sucks Angela, and I'm so sorry. I know it must be so hard for you and it's okay to cry and be angry about it. You WILL get up again but however long that takes is okay, and if you have to curl up and cry many times that's okay too. I agree with vera kate, the work just seems so unbalanced these days, and it seems like when you're hurting, that's when the hurt just keeps coming. Hang in there, sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers.

I'm sorry, Angela. I just found out that 2 women in my support group are pregnant. The monthly meeting was last night, and I couldn't even go. These girls are a decade younger than me, and only took 2 months to become pregnant. I am happy for them, but it still sucks. Be kind to yourself. I am thinking of you.

Thinking of you...

I'm so sorry Angela. It must be so hard. I've had to deal with pregnancy announcements but not one as close as a sister-in-law. And your nephew having his birthday so close to your Charlotte's. Oh I'm just so sorry. Everyone has to curl up and cry sometimes. I just wish I could take some of the hurt away for you. x