Tiger Brennan
June 13, 2009

Today we strung flower garlands, folded and hung cranes in Will's tree, brought flowers, set up an altar, Lucy did a 'Tiger-dance', put homemade flowers around the fence- all orange and black. We all wore white. The whole setting-up part in the park (where the tree is) is meditative and somehow important. Just about done and then... it rained.

I didn't read from anything, sing anything, say much- although that is why all this preparation. We talked a little about how our lives had changed since Tiger had died- ways we had changed, things we have created. I really wanted to not have the day focused around the medical mistakes and trauma. I am alive- that is something. But that too felt strange and the rain saved us from talking..... the rain was my sorrow and I was pleased to stay out in it... today.

When we arrived at the park, right by our tree, a couple played with their one year old. I was certain it was his birthday somehow- whether or not it was- it was. Lifting him up and laughing, making faces at him. I watched like I was watching a movie. So Hollywood.

I believe that Tiger and Will would want us to live. I believe in all this grieving and creating from loss. I find new ways to live because of my children everyday.

..... And I so deeply wish that they were here. So much that I can feel him on my shoulder- asleep.

godspeed little man. sweet dreams.

Remembering Tiger and thinking of you and your family today Sooze.

Maddie x

Thinking of you. Sending good thoughts and love your way.

Sooze, that was beautiful, thinking of them too, you are always in my heart.

Thinking of you all, and of Tiger. x

Sooze, what a beautiful way to honor your boy. You all are in my thoughts.

XO

I am sorry Tiger is not here.

What a beautiful tribute to him, and to Will.