I know it does, but every once in a while I'm faced with it, and it's crappy. Today I was faced with friends I've avoided and realised how much they've also avoided me, and hey, they even got on with their lives. How can that be? How can it be that I haven't even realised that they would?

Jeanette, I know that feeling, when you realize the world has turned and people have accomplished "goals" and even been deliriously happy while we were stuck in the land of the lost. It does hurt me to think that the loss of my child didn't affect them, that they continued to be happy, but then I know that's how it works -- that truly we are the only ones that hold that tremendous love for our babies, and it can only be that way.

I hate seeing friends that have avoided me, or that I have avoided, its just a reminder of everything that has been lost and turned on its ear. I honestly dont leave the house much anymore, I just dont engage people like I used to. I think on some level we have to accept that we are so changed that nothing is ever going to feel the same again. It's a terribly bitter pill, and I'm still trying to swallow it.
Hugs,
mindy

I totally hear you. I think about this every day. Pretty much everyone in my life, other than my close family, has moved far, far on from our loss. Like you both, I've avoided so many people. I just can't get excited for them when their lives go perfectly (call me a bitch, but it is true) and I can't look them in the eye when they have the audacity to complain about trivial things. I try to remind myself that, this time last year, I was one of those oblivious people. This reminder doesn't help to ease my pain, however.

Once you lose a baby. you simply can't look at life in the same way again. The vast disparity between the rest of the untouched world's perspective and your own is hard to overlook.

I realized about a week ago that I am forever stuck in last summer. Well, maybe not forever, but I am beginning to think so. A piece of me is forever replaying those moments when my world shattered.

So how is the world still spinning merrily on its way?

Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry. It is crappy. It is unfortunate. It would be so much better for us and our relationships if the world would just stop for a few weeks so we can all catch our breath without feeling left behind and abandoned and guilty for feeling so.

Yeah, stop the ride, I wanna get off. I know the feeling, wish I could help, but I don't know what to tell you besides that you're not alone.