I finally found a resource to help stop some of the mailings. This was something I was given 4 years ago at the hospital when we lost Will. I can't remember how well it worked to be honest but have been looking for it since we lost Tiger. It may be something that you have already done. Unfortunately is says that it will decrease the mailings within 3 months. But better than nothing:

Many catalog companies, retailers and service organizations that mail advertisements to your home belong to the Direct Marketing Association. By contacting the address below, you can remove you or your baby's name from mailing lists used by these companies.

When you register, the person's name, address, and phone number is placed on a special Do Not Contact List. The companies participating in this program are required to eliminate these names from their commercial marketing lists.

You can complete the form on-line at www.the-dma.org. Follow the link to consumer assistance. A verification fee of $1 will be charged to your credit card.

Hope it can help ease some of those surprise triggers that are hard for many of us.

and a uk version for those who need it (i posted it elsewhere but just in case people didn't see it)
http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmpsr/

thanks for starting this thread sooze.