I just got a copy of 'Tesco Baby' magazine through the post.

I never even registered for anything at Tesco. I never even shop at Tesco. How the fuck did they get my details? Why the fuck do I not even find out they have them until now, 12 days before what would have been my due date?

I'm so tempted to scrawl 'I HAD A MISCARRIAGE AT SEVENTEEN WEEKS, FIVE MONTHS AGO. WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET MY DETAILS?' across the thing in marker pen and return it to sender. but what good would it do?

I'm just finding life really hard at the minute. It's a struggle to do anything at all. Things like this really don't help.

I know what you mean. I STILL get e mail from Babies R' Us, but I've went to their "unsubscribe" link at least 3 times now. I wish I could get someone on the phone, (or even better-face to face) and say, "I've unsubscribed from your e mail list 3 times now, but I'm still receiving your twice weekly mails. They are quite painful for me. You see, MY BABY DIED. I watched her turn purple, and die right in front of me in the ER. So, do you think maybe you could find out what the major malfunction is???" Talk about being a Medusa. Maybe someone could take my name off that list then, and I could have one less reminder of how miserable I am, and what a failure I am. Like I could ever forget. In two more days, Anna would have been ten months old.

I remember getting all these flyers and promotions in the mail afterwards, some with the headline "your baby is now 3 months old!" - umm...no he's not, he'll never be, thanks for the reminder. Sigh. I did through perserverance track down the marketing company that sold my information to numerous companies and managed to get my name off the list. Then, I phoned or emailed each company and DID tell them my baby died - whenever I spoke to someone they always apologized and got me off the list immediately. It sucks though. Lesson learned to never sign up for a registry or mailing list ever, ever again.

Sorry you're having these reminders and a hard time. Sending hugs.

I get these too. And it breaks my heart each time. I don't know how to stop them from coming....

On Friday I got a sample for baby cereal. It's about that time that, if my baby had lived, would be starting solids. And the scary part was, this time, it evoked no emotion. That almost made me even more sad.....

Hi I can totally get where you are coming from. I too got a Tesco baby magazine this morning in the post - all with lots of vouchers on for nappies etc. It broke my heart, and I think I will eamil them and ensure i dont get anymore. My DH put all Eleanor's clothes, nappies, blankets up in the loft because he didnt want them to upset me, and he was unsure what to do with them.
I'm not sure what will happen to them - I feel a bit creepy giving them to another baby as they were meant for Eleanor.......
I just dread any more coming through the post - usually my DH intercepts them before I see.

Please email Tesco - of phone customer services - they should stop them.

Love Julie x

There are some things you get hit with because even if you unsubscribe, things end up sneaking through. It's been 2 years since Aeryn's birth/death and I realized that I was getting party supply catalogs in March because they had somehow picked up from her birth certificate. I kept getting these little catalogs with all sorts of girly, princess themed party decorations and couldn't figure out why, then it hit me. Then I realized the potty training ads, that sort of thing, was coming for the same reason. It was slow to dawn on me. I had done the unsubscribe, but once you're in the system it's very difficult to get out, and then some companies pick things up by checking public records for birthdates.

Hang in there, I wish there was something I could do to help but other than continuing to unsubscribe when you get things, I have nothing else I can tell you.

It's shit isn't it? I was brave a few months back and asked my dh to pick up our mum to be Bounty pack, and the lady in the store gave him the six month old pack.
I was unpacking bibs, and spoons and getting very confused, and then I realised and was almost sick. The timing meant that Florence would have been six months old, and that should've been her pack.
I wont be picking up any more. x

Oh hell. B, I'm sorry that happened. Perhaps you should send an amended version back as you suggest?

Such a horribly painful reminder and I am surprised that big companies, such as Tesco, don't have some sort of easy 'opt out' clause. It causes so much unnecessary distress and hurt. Maybe if you managed to email or get hold of someone at customer services, like Julie suggested, you could put a stop on them.

I only ever got my first Bounty pack and it sat in my magazine rack, unopened for months. I finally threw it out a little while ago. If I ever fall pregnant again, I don't think I'll be rushing to pick them up either. x

For those of us in the UK - do you know about this? http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmpsr/

You know the Mail Preference Service can get your name off junk mail lists and the telephone preference service can get your phone number off junk call lists? Well Baby MPS registration will get you off the baby mailings. The irony is, I nearly signed up before - got as far as clicking the link on the email, but didn't for some reason. I wish I had now.

Oh Christine, that must hurt you so badly. Could you get someone to phone on your behalf and explain what happened and that you REALLY need them to delete your details from their database? I'm so sorry Anna isn't there with you.

That must have been exhausting Monique. I only had to send one email and make one phone call to get removed, everything else had unsubscribe links that worked.

The phone call - the woman on the other end of the line was horrified and asked if I was OK. My parents were there so I told her I had people to look after me. But I seriously think that she would have called someone for me if I had been alone. Amazing how kind strangers can be, when friends and family can be so much of a let-down.

Thank you Julie. Must have been the day for Tesco's mailout I guess. I thought I'd got my name off everything. It caught me unawares. I will contact them. When I've gathered enough strength to open it and look for the contact details :( I hope you can decide what to do with the clothes and stuff that should have been Eleanor's.

That's awful Katherine! Two years later. They shouldn't be allowed to do that.

Oh Jeanette that would have made me sick too. It's not fair.

Thank you Catherine. I waited until a week or so after we had our first scan to bother with any of the bounty stuff. About the same time the baby died. I have a lot of the stuff in an optimistic 'maybe i'll need this next time!' box. but i don't think i'll be rushing back to it either. part of me wants to throw it away, but not enough of me.

Thank you all so much. It helps to know it's not just me.

Thanks for the link B, I've registered. :0)

I got on some fucking Enfamil (baby formula) list so for the last 2 years, they've sent little "updates" to me complete with vitamins, packets of formula, etc. My husband was scooping them up off the front porch and throwing them away before I saw them until one day, he got home late and I checked the mail. I marched in, called the 800 number I found online and told them if they sent another piece of mail to me, I'd make it my mission in life to tell everyone how insensitive Enfamil was to women whose babies died.

Never received another piece of mail from them.