Before I had my daughter (at 21 weeks) we hadn't really discussed names. In fact, we didn't even know whether we were having a boy or girl. For the few weeks prior to when my pregnancy went south, however, I had been thinking about names on my own. I had a rough, short list in my head.

The other day, I heard a girl's name and thought "Oh, that'll be a good name for the baby." It took a few moments for me to remember--- wait, the baby is gone. She already has a name, one which we only had moments to decide. A name that I love, but wouldn't have chosen if she had a chance to live. (We named our daughter Juliet, a name that I feared was too tragic to give to a living child).

Names still bounced around in my head pretty often. And I don't even think we'll be having any more children. It is like my head is still stuck in my lost pregnancy, happily and cluelessly cataloging names for a baby who will never be here.

Does this happen to anyone else??

Hi Steph,
we too had to name our little girl (Eleanor) and i still keep looking at baby names. I feel guilty as we didnt give her a middle name.
I too forget she has gone....gone forever. She will always be there with you in your heart. Its cruel that it keeps happening - your brain cant quite comprehend the horror of what has really happened.
I hate that phrase 'time is a healer' people keep saying it to me, and i guess i have to believe it or i would go mad.
Hugs to you.

Julie xx

It's not names for me. We had names chosen for years. Mind you, we've now thrown out all the boy names and started over tentatively, but since those were set, I get caught out by other things.

Like I'll see some cute outfit and think. 'Oh, I should buy that for Gabe.' or I will see an advertisement for something going on in the city and think, 'Oh, I want to take Gabe there.' or 'Oh, we definitely should start taking Gabe to the park early on.'

Then I remember that we can't do that. I try to correct myself and say we'll do that with our kids. It's not the same thing though. And I feel a little silly when I catch myself because it'll be 8 months soon.

Yep, I'm like Eliza, it's not names, but other things. I was deorating dd1's bedroom last week and I said to her that the colours were lovely and if the room still looked good in a few years after she'd gone to university then Florence could have that room. DD1 just looked at me, then went to tell dh what I'd said, and he agreed with me, then we both looked at each other and realised Florence will never need her room. x

these all break my heart. it's not fair. none of us should have to be here.

thinking of you all.